Photos of Sarah Lane

 Edit: Apparently, there is a photo journalist named Sarah Lane as well, and I included some of her pics by mistake. So, I have corrected this below and delineated the two sets of pics.


Sarah Lane came to prominence as a "dancing double" for Natalie Portman for the movie Black Swan. She gained even more notoriety when she called out assertions from the Portman camp that Natalie was responsible for 85% of the dancing in the movie, putting the figure closer to about 5%. Yet, for all the controversy that this has stirred up in Hollywood buzz, no one has yet put together a compilation of some sexy Sarah Lane photos. We here at Future Twits can't let that stand. Enjoy :)

1. Sarah Lane Pretty Face

2. Sarah Lane Sexy Body Pic:

3. Sarah Lane Black Dress:

4. Sarah Lane Pink Dress:

 And, for the photojournalist Sarah Lane:



5. Sarah Lane (Photojournalist) Face Pic:

Another Sarah Lane (photojournalist) face pic:

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Well, I hope that you enjoyed those photos of the beautiful Sarah Lane, body double for Natalie Portman in Black Swan. These are all of the photos I could find that I knew were for certain of her. If you want me to find some more, just leave a comment and I will look. Also, check out my review of Black Swan and my explanation of why guys find the lesbian kiss in Black Swan so fascinating.

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Short Movie Reviews: Battle: Los Angeles, Black Swan, Tangled, Tron Legacy

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Here are some short movie reviews (50 words or less) for four movies that I have recently seen: Battle: Los Angeles, Black Swan, Tangled, Tron Legacy

  Battle: Los Angeles: (3.5 out of 5): This is a good movie for anyone who likes action. Aaron Eckhart gives an especially powerful performance as a hated Sergeant who leads his men against the aliens. My only objection is that the plot tends to drag (especially at the first), and the action sequences are a bit predicable  at times.

Black Swan: (4 out of 5): Natalie Portman gives an awesome performance in the lead role in this beautifully choreographed, beautifully scored twist on the classic Swan Lake ballet. Surprisingly, Mila Kunis is good as well. If anything, my objection is that the sexual tension in the movie is a bit too overdone and could have been toned down without losing much. Also, the plot twist at the end was predictable.


Tangled: (5 out of 5): This is the best Disney movie I've seen in ages, and one of my favorite movies of the year. The animation, voice acting (courtesy of Mandy Moore), action sequences, slapstick humor, and overall charm of this movie are superb. If anything, I found the film so engrossing that I wanted a longer movie.

Tron Legacy: (3.5 out of 5): This is a very good movie for fans of the the alternate computer generated reality genre. Every time I see a movie like this one, I am reminded exactly how far computer generated special effects have come in the last 10 years. Even so, the movie is somewhat slow in places, and the ending is anticlimactic.

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Black Swan: Fake Lesbians vs. Real Lesbians

Cover of Wild Things (Unrated Edition)

For those of you with too interesting of lives to care about the latest scheme by Hollywood to sell extra movie tickets, I thought that I would take a few minutes to tell you about the latest movie designed to squeeze a few more bucks out of the pockets of men everywhere: Black Swan.




As much fun as I think that it would be to see Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman kissing anyone in a movie, I do have to object a little bit when they start kissing each other. On the one hand, I find the display visually pleasing, just like any guy would. At the same time, I get the same kind of uncomfortable feeling that I get when I see a pretty waitress at a crowded restaurant spending just a little too much time over at a table full of single guys and bending over just a little too far when she picks up their plates: the waitress might be flirting with them because she likes them, but in my experience she probably just wants a bigger tip.

Hot Waitress: Wants Your Money, Not Your Number

This is the exact same feeling that I get in this case. I can't shake the feeling that Hollywood is making yet another movie with a lesbian kiss, not because they want to express an idea artistically but because they want to sell more tickets to lonely guys who think both Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are super attractive. This brings me to the whole point of my article: Hollywood and its obsession with "fake lesbians". 

Selma Hayek: Another Hollywood Fake Lesbian

Fake Lesbians are Hollywood's Best Friends:

From Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in Black Swan to Denise Richards and Neve Campbell in Wild Things to Katy Perry singing about kissing a girl, Hollywood is very persistent in promoting this illusion that the sell to guys across the world that hot, normal looking, sexy girls are bisexual reservoirs of uncontrollable hormones that need other girls as a safety valve.

Wild Things: Denise Richards & Neve Campbell

The reality is that most real world lesbians that I've ever met fall into the category of either an Ellen Degeneres clone, Rosie O'Donnell's twin sister, or someone who could easily be mistaken for the half man, half woman character from 50 First Dates played by  Lusia Strus. For most of these women, the idea of femininity is about as foreign and unrealistic as the idea of me having lunch on the moon.

Katy Perry in "I Kissed a Girl"

Still not convinced? Lets look at some examples:

Fake Lesbians: Tatu (singers from Russia)

Tatu: Singers from Russia

Tatu: they're not lesbians, they just play them on TV.

Real Lesbians:

Real Lesbians: Sexy, huh?

Not exactly the type that you're likely to see in a movie any time soon.

Another example:


Fake Lesbian: (think Cruel Intentions)

Sarah Michelle Gellar -- Fake Lesbian

Real Lesbian: (think fat arse talk show host):

Rosie O'Donnell -- Real Lesbian

For those guys among you who think that I'm being too harsh here, as Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars Episode III would say, "Search your feelings. You know it to be true." For all of the women who think that I'm being too harsh, well, you either are one or you know one so STFU!


I hope you enjoyed the pictures. Now, if I could only figure out a way to use fake lesbians to make me rich  . . .

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Funny or Die not funny?

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Is it just me, or are the "funny or die" Youtube videos not very funny? I found this one the other day with Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones (I have no idea who the latter one is) making a tribute to . . . chickens? It's one of these videos that reminds me of a sketch from a slow night on one of the late night shows, like Jimmy Kimmel, Dave Letterman, of Jimmy Kimmel. The Youtube video is supposed to be funny and you could force yourself to laugh over it, but it's not something that you would post on Facebook or Google search later.








In another note, Hollywood and the mainstream media do this all the time. They turn out sketches or satire articles that are supposed to be funny, but they're not. Take a recent article from Onion.com about gays in the military as another example. Cutting through all of the bull crap and Onion gay bias, the basic assumption of the article is that, if you oppose gay anything, you're basically a closet gay. By the same token, if you opposed Christian anything, are you a closet Christian? If you dislike rap music, are you a closet rapper? More importantly, when most people read it that aren't gay (and yes, most people aren't), then you run into a situation where they're not laughing at the jokes in the article. However, Hollywood doesn't care, and they keep printing crap that most Americans wouldn't find funny, wouldn't share with friends, and most likely feel like they've been gay raped for even having read or watched in the first place.

Natalie Portman: 

The saddest part about all this is that there are genuinely funny videos on Youtube, like this parody of a American Psycho with a Mexican that I found. People need to start sharing these types of articles, instead of just parroting out crap from Hollywood.

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