Why Writing an Article in 7 Minutes Make Us Dumberer

Image by casasroger via Flickr

In his system, "How to Write an Article in 7 Minutes (or some crap like that)", internet marketer some-bozo-that-I-don't remember-his-name-and-it's-a-pseudonym-anyway has made up a system whereby people can write a 400 word article in 7 minutes (6 if you close all the porn windows on your computer first). The method goes something like this:

1. Google something and open up the first three windows that comes up on your subject. It doesn't matter where the articles source from (news, blog, hub page, 5 year old kid, prison inmate, etc.), just that the have something written on their article that is worth stealing.

2. Skim through the first three and last paragraph of the article. Don't try to do things like understand the article or verify the sources -- those things take too much time. For example, if the article tells you things like "Mercury is an excellent source of coloring for a food additive" or "When you're baby cries, just shake him or her to sleep -- the baby actually enjoys it", you should just repeat that in your article without question. After all, doing these things takes time.

3. Put the plagiarized . . . er, rewritten content that you find on those sites into a automated computer template and crank that article as fast as your little fingers can click the mouse button. Usually, your article comes out reading something like this (where the bold terms are your keywords that you've stolen from the article and the rest is computer generated drivel):

People are concerned about internet safety, but in this article, I teach you the tips to avoid internet safety and save your email passwords. By simply reading this article, you can safely experience internet safety and save your computer from internet attack. Blah, blah, blah . . . internet safety. Blah, blah, blah, . . . email passwords  . . . phishing scams . . . lazy readers.

Isn't this just riveting to read?

4. Take this craptacular article and put it on some craptacular circus-peanuts-for-bad-writing website -- like Associated Content. Make sure to  get all of your other desperate loser . . . I mean, writer colleagues on the site to click on the article, promising them that you'll do the same (even if you outsource it to India instead). Just think - this article could be worth $1.50!!!

Is this really what the internet has come to, this McDonalds version of information that writers seem to be proliferating everywhere online. Actually, I take it back, this isn't even McDonalds grade, it's more like a Jack-in-the-Box $0.39 burger that has been dropped at the drivethrough, run over a couple of times, found, and later half-eaten by a homeless man. Think: do you really want that kind of garbage clogging your internet?

P.S. No offense intended towards homeless men that eat burgers found on the street :)

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2 Big Reasons Why Your Articles Should Be Display Only on Associated Content

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If you treat writing for Associated Content like a second job, granting AC either exclusive or non-exclusive rights to your articles may seem enticing. After all, even if you make a couple of bucks off it, you're that much richer, right? However, there are a few reasons why you might want to consider passing this opportunity up.

1. You can't change articles after publication: The first question that would come to most authors' minds when I say this is, "Why would you want to change your article after publication?" My answer would be that it depends entirely on the type of article you're writing. However, there are some notable exceptions. For example, one of the things that I like to do for my Associated Content articles is to write a series of articles about a particular topic. For example, I have been playing the new Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty game for a few weeks now, and I really like it. With over 4 million copies sold so far in 2010, I'm guessing that other people like it as well. Here is a scenario that I've had happen with other articles where not being able to change an article after publication sucks. Lets say that I write ten articles about Starcraft 2 for AC. Out of those, lets say that the first article I pulish (a general overview or something) starts receiving a huge number of hits per day. From my end, what would happen if I wanted to go back and link all of my other articles (which are under performing) to that first article? Depending on how many hits per day I'm getting on the main article, I could be losing dozens or even hundreds of hits per day for my secondary articles because AC doesn't let authors edit exclusive and non-exclusive rights articles.

Even if I'm not interested in linking other articles to my earlier articles, there might come a point when I want to update the information in the first article so that it is more relevant to readers at a future date. For example, a well established article about wireless services could continue to be relevant for years (and continue to generate hits) if I update the article every so often -- all without the time investment of writing a new article.

2. You can't remove articles: This is a subtle point that is more difficult to explain. Again, taking the example of a series of Star Craft 2 articles, lets say that I write a series of 50 articles about Starcraft 2. Lets also say that I put a lot of effort into these articles, so much so that they start generating massive hits -- maybe 5,000 per day. "Well, great," you would probably say, "that means 10 dollars per day from these article for me alone." If the only place you publish is to AC, I would say that your reasoning is correct. However, lets say that you wanted to start a Starcraft blog. 50 articles of this caliber, in a profitable niche like Starcraft 2, could potentially generate a very high click through rate for ads on a blog -- making two bucks per thousand impressions seem like peanuts in comparison (I would say as high as 20 dollars per 1000 is not unreasonable in situations like this). It's too bad you can't revoke AC's rights to the article, isn't it?

For most people, accepting upfront payments for your articles on Associated Content is probably the way to go. However, I have outlined a couple of situations where accepting upfront payments may not be in your best interest.

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How to Make Tons of Money with Associated Content

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 Tired of working a 9-5 job just to feed your bratty kids, only to put hot dogs, raman noodles and spam on the table? Learn to make hundreds of dollars per week extra with Associated Content.

I often have people ask me (or theoretically would have them ask me, if I knew anyone who cared enough about it), "Josh, how do I make a truckload of money with Associated Content? I know this farmer's housewife who makes billions of dollars per month on AC, yet I still can't figure out how she does it." Well, my scarecrow-headed friend, you're in luck. Let me explain exactly how to make the most money possible on Associated Content.

1. Article Spam, Article Spam, Article Spam: Remember, you don't get paid if people read your article, like your articles, recommend your articles to others, or even find anything useful in your articles. You get paid if they clickon your articles. So, what do you do to ensure that people click on your articles more? Well, you could just write better articles (laughs anyone?). But, that takes time and effort. Instead, what you should do (and what most people on AC do) is to just write more articles. Write articles about everything: your clothes, your dog, your kids, how to pick a lock, video games you've never played before, your mom, and lots of other things that you have no expertise about. If someone calls you out on what you've written, just remember: you don't know that bozo. Even if your advice is nothing more than to go and read a book about the subject (i.e. the article on lock picking) or long citations courtesy of Wikipedia (about 1/2 of the other articles on AC), you still get paid. Remember, to paraphrase T.S. Elliot (or whoever -- for an AC article I'm too lazy to look it up), "Good writers borrow, great writers steal, and AC writers spit stolen articles from a fire hose").

2. Don't worry about grammar, punctuation, spelling, citations: Anything that slows you down in your article writing is generally not your friend. Remember: you need cash, not kudos. If someone wants correct grammar, they ain't gonna get it. If they want punctuation,,,, tell them - to * date; a friggin' English teacher. If they want spalling, well, to bed. Citations? Really, citations? You're the world expert in this field (for all they know) -- you can claim anything you want! If all else fails, just point to rumor and vague innuendo. If it an article about Japan, just remind everyone how the people there eat to much rice and wear samurai armor to work. If they disagree or try to cite "authority" to disprove you, what do they know? Besides, you get paid anyway.

3. If all else fails, just write nonsense: You really only have to write 300 words to keep "the man" at AC off your back. Remember, it's your article and you can write about what you want -- even if it's not what "the man" wants you to write the article about. "The man" can go write his own articles if he wants them written so badly.

I hope that this helped. If it did and you do make billions, give me half.

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Associated Content: Splogs, Sploggers, and Splogging from Splogfrica

I am fed up with looking for information on Associated Content, EHow, HubPages, Helium, or any of the other similar myriad pages that pay people to write articles. Most of the information is complete and utter junk. Here are some examples.

A brief and poorly written "dissertation" on time travel

So this is a good example of what I'm writing about with contentless Associated Content articles. Read the article (it only takes about a minute) and ask yourself how much effort you feel that the author of that article put into writing it. If your answer was that he or she (probably he) put less than 10 minutes of effort into writing it, you're almost certainly right. I would have said under five minutes of effort, except for the fact that the article was largely free of spelling and punctuation errors, which means that the author probably couldn't have written it stream-of-consciousness style.

Also, to be fair, I wouldn't expect something much deeper than this, given the article's title. However, it is frustrating when you're looking for information that is a little more in depth and useful. Here is an example:

How to change the locks on your door

If you read the article carefully, the author basically tells you to take the old locks off and put the new ones on. Well, thanks and duh, which is exactly the problem with associated content articles -- lots of information that literally resembles the types of answers you get when you ask a the girl at Best Buy what is the difference between the two televisions and she responds with an answer like, "Well, this one is a Toshiba, which is a good brand . . . I guess . . . and this one is a Sony. I guess this one is a little bigger, um, and it has higher D-P-I, whatever that means, and um, it costs a bit more but . . . it's more fun to watch . . . um, I think this is actually the kind my brother has, like an LCD, which is cool . . . and . . . this one has big speakers. I don't know -- I just started working here last week." In other words, she doesn't know anything and is there as floor furniture and to make sure you don't shoplift.


However, the last type of article is even more annoying -- the articles where people actually give out the wrong information. Here is a good example:

Should You Go to Mexico for Plastic Surgery?

I'm not going to go into all of the reasons why this article sucks other than to say that there are 120 million people in Mexico, many of whom even make frequent trips to the doctor and live to tell about it. In fact, a large percentage of Mexican doctors have been trained inside the U.S. or in Europe, not that the Mexican medical schools are inferior or anything. Remember, brown does not equal dangerous, as much as Fox News and the Republican Party would like you to think otherwise. Here is my poorly written article debunking the myths in the first poorly written article:

Hospitals in Mexico: Debunking the Myths

In summary: If you don't know how to use Google, lack common sense, or have recently injured your brain, you will benefit from the articles on Associated Content. If none of the above applies to you, do a little more research and get your information from more reputable sources -- like rumors and small children.



Cute Black Girl:

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Upfront Payments for Associated Content: Why You Shouldn’t Bother with Them

Many writers are captivated by the allure of receiving cash upfront for the articles they write for Associated Content. However, it is almost always equivalent or better to skip these upfront payments and submit articles for performance only payments. Here is a list of reasons why.

It isn’t that much money: Associated Content claims that they will pay up to ten dollars upfront for content submitted to their site. Most of the football players in my high school claimed that they could bench press 300+ pounds, even the ones that weighed in at about 150. The lesson is that people and internet sites both can claim anything they want. I have personally never gotten paid more than a little over two dollars for any of my articles. From my research among other writers, most of them average payments between about two and four dollars. So, even writing fifty articles per month will only net you about 200-400 dollars extra – nice but hardly enough to quit your day job over.

You have to jump through hoops: Another thing that I have experience with Associated Content, both with my own articles and those of colleagues, is that you have to have to put a lot of effort into writing an article if you expect an editor to like it, probably a lot more effort than if you were writing the article for yourself. Also, the editor can more or less dictate what subjects you write the article on (i.e. if you’re writing for the assignment desk) and concern about whether or not an editor will like your article can sometimes influence you to write an article that is good for Associated Content but not good for your bottom line.

A great example of this comes from looking over the current Associated Content assignment desk. Out of the 20 or so assignments on my desk, probably half of those are reviews of video games and movies, including some with an upfront pay offer. Now, ask yourself, is this really the type of article that will be good for generate long term cash from performance pay. The shelf life of the average video game review is probably the first few months after the game comes out. To make real money, you want to write articles that have a shelf life of years, not months, so that you can have small residuals from performance pay trickling in from your dozens of Associated Content articles, not something that will generate some clicks for a couple of weeks or months and be finished. Hence, video game and movie review articles, along with many of the other articles you get from the assignment desk, are probably a bad choice for your pocket book.

You may actually lose money: This reason is a counterintuitive argument that only makes sense if you consider something financial planners call “the time value of money”. Here, you would treat the money you make writing each Associated Content article, and the time you spent to write it, as if you were working at a job. You goal is to make a certain amount of money during the time you spend writing for Associate Content – maybe 10 dollars per hour. Also, assume that you write two articles: Article A which you submit for upfront payment and Article B which you publish for performance pay only.

After a week or so, you hear back on Article A – the editor will accept it if you do a better job citing your sources. Since you really want that upfront payment, you spend an additional thirty minutes looking up the article that you were reading online, put the citation in the article, and resubmit it. This time, you get your upfront payment – a whopping three dollars!

However, during the same period of time, you could have been pumping out another article similar to Article B. Assuming that Article A and Article B have the same performance payment at the end of the year – five dollars – you would have made thirteen dollars writing Articles A and B – three dollars ahead of where you would have been with just the performance payments alone. So, you came out three dollars ahead, right?

Not quite. The problem is that, during that same period of time, you could have also been writing Article C, which would have also made five dollars by the end of the year. In the latter case, you would have had fifteen dollars, two dollars more than in the first case where you had to revise Article A.

A two dollar difference may not seem like a lot of money, but if you’re treating Associate Content like a second job, situations like that really translate into two dollars per hour difference. Now, most people don’t care about two dollars. However, a two dollar per hour pay difference at your part time job is a big difference!

Bottom Line: Even though the prospect of upfront payment may seem like a good option for a beginning writer. However, the combination of the small size of upfront payments, the freedom of choice that comes with performance pay articles, and the time value of money should help you to forego upfront payment in many cases.

Sexy Blogging: 5 Ways to Make Your Associated Content Article “Click Irresistible”!

With literally millions of blogs and billions of internet pages out there, it seems like everyone is trying to make their webpage stand out. So, how do you make your blog or Associated Content article irresistible to clicks? Here are five things that will get you started.

1. Get a Catchy Title: Admit it, when you read the title of my article, you probably had a good idea what I was going to tell you in this article. But, you couldn’t help but click on it, could you? Why? Probably at least part of the reason behind it was the title!

From my experience, I would say that it’s about 80 percent of the hits that your article on Associated Content gets are based on the title alone. A good title is worth its weight in internet gold.

2. Use Bullets and Lists: In our day of hectic schedules and text messaging, Twitter, and Facebook, no one wants to read some long winded article. Instead, everything needs to be in a list to get noticed. If a point takes more than 200 words to make, write a book about it instead of an internet post.

3. Use Correct Grammar and Spelling: Nothing is more annoying than to stumble across an article on Associated Content with great potential only to find a poorly written article with bad grammar and lots of spelling mistakes.

This is especially unforgivable in our day because programs like Microsoft Word basically do all of the hard work of spell and grammar checking for you. If you really don’t know or are too lazy to use these tools, take up tennis instead!

4. Tell People Something Interesting: If you want people to remember your article and refer back to it from time to time, be sure to tell them something interesting (or several things) that will keep the article in the back of their mind. Whether it’s a list on how to write an Associated Content article or instructions on how to submit a FAFSA if you’re over 50, use your article to give people information that they can use and that they can’t find in another place.

5. Make a list of websites: One of the most “click irresistible” websites I’ve seen to date on Associated Content is one that offers people a list of websites similar to Associated Content that pay upfront money for freelance articles. Even though I am the type of person to usually forget an internet page 30 seconds after I navigate away from it, I have found myself visiting this page 10 times in the last week alone.

Take this as an example of what to do in your own articles. Whether you compile a links to sites for college scholarships in the Humanities or just a list of links to funny cat videos on Youtube, make sure that your content has your audience bookmarking your site for future use