Thursday, September 30, 2010

7 Secret Ways to Become a Millionaire

Organized Crime (Treat album)Image via Wikipedia
Here are the best seven ways that I could come up with to become a millionaire. If you have better ideas than these, feel free to write your own article.
1. Invest and save: Honestly, if you just can keep from spending your money long enough to save some of it away, you can probably become a millionaire eventually. The online savings calculators that I consulted said that, if you save as little as 200$ a month for 40 years and invest it at 11% interest (about the returns on the historical stock market when you dividend reinvest), you too could become a millionaire -- with a lot left over. However, the trick is to free up 200$ per month to invest. I get the impression that a lot of these eventual millionaires are lucky because they never lose their jobs or have sick kids. Well, good for them.
2. Turn to crime: One of the quickest ways to become a millionaire is (even though nobody admits it) a life of crime. Selling drugs, joining organized crime, and embezzlement can net you millions. However, this method does have the downside that you will probably spend large tracks of your life in prison (or worse) and have to give Bubba a sponge bath every night. If you ask me, the money isn't worth it.
3. Have a rich relative die and leave you a big inheritance: This is probably the most effortless way to become a millionaire. If your rich uncle or grandpa dies, you could be living the life on the beaches of Cancun in no time flat. However, there are drawbacks here too. First, your relative has to actually leave you a large inheritance -- as opposed to splitting it up evenly among you and your undeserving siblings or leaving it to charity. If you think that this might happen, one strategy is to wait until your relative has a terminal illness and then start making a point of visiting him or her in the months leading up to death. Remember -- people can be very impressionable and influenced to change a will easily when they're senile.
4. Marry a millionaire: This is another great way to become a millionaire, and it even has side "benefits" to boot. However, this method is also difficult. For one thing, you have to be the caliber of person that can actually land a millionaire spouse. For a girl, this means that you have to be a knockout and have personality. For the guy, it's a little easier -- women, especially spoiled ones, love a loser. However, this method comes with additional baggage. For a girl married to a millionaire, your husband is likely to cheat on you. For a guy, you're likely to be stuck with very demanding in laws that think you're not good enough for their daughter.
5. Get a high paying job: Using a job to advance your economic fortune is clearly the most traditional path to wealth. However, with this method, you'll usually be required to either work hard, work long hours, or have a lot of formal education -- all of which take time and effort. If you want to put yourself through the torture of a long and hard job or college just so that you can be millionaire, fine; but don't expect all of us to do that.
6. Sell your soul on Ebay: From what I've heard, the devil is paying top dollar for these things on Ebay. However, you should sell yours as quickly as possible -- there is a huge supply out there.
7. Write for Associated Content: I just had to include this one so that I could laugh a bit tonight (he he he). Okay, now that over with, let us reason together: to get 1 million from your AC articles, you would need to get 1/2 of a billion page views. Do any of you see that happening?
In conclusion, becoming a millionaire is more difficult that it seems, which is probably the reason why not everyone is a millionaire.
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