Mel Gibson Secret Rant about Pizza Delivery Boy

Image via Wikipedia

In a return to classic article style, Future Twit has peered into the secret Twitter files of Mel Gibson and found that not just Jews and his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, are the victims of his rage and bigotry anymore. Read as he uses Twitter to attack a defenseless pizza delivery boy.

FatNazi: I'm going to try out Twitter to order some pizza. I'll let my two remaining fans know how it goes.

PapaJohns: Can I help you?

FatNazi: I'd like to three extra larges with all the meat and 50 buffalo wings.

PapaJohns: Do you need extra plates delivered with that?

FatNazi: No, it's just for me . . . I mean, sure, lots of plates. They're free, right?

PapaJohns:It's an extra 25 cents.

FatNazi: Uh, just the pizza then. My ex-girlfriend and wife are cleaning me out right now. You haven't heard about that, have you?

PapaJohns: Nope. I've been living on Mars for the past three years. How will you be paying tonight, sir?

FatNazi: I won't. I'm Mel Gibson.

PapaJohns: You will. I'm the night manager, and I tell Ricardo what pizzas to make.

FatNazi: You won't let me have the pizza for free? You little #&!$. I #&!$ing own you.

PapaJohns: Sir, we're not going to deliver three pizzas for free to Malibu at 2 am without a credit card number.

FatNazi: I #&!$ing own Malibu!

PapaJohns: Sir, Papa Johns is a place of business. You can't just prank Tweet to us.

FatNazi: I #&!$ing own Papa John -- kind of a gay fetish bet thing.

PapaJohns: TMI. So, no veggies right?

FatNazi: Veggies? You read like a slut! I said ONLY MEAT!

PapaJohns: Calm down sir, my mistake. No veggies it is.

FatNazi: Well, I can't help it if you're going to get raped by a pack of pizza delivery boys because you read like a slut!

PapaJohns: Right . . . so, it will be 62.50, due at the door on delivery. Thanks for your business.

FatNazi: Tell the driver I might be naked when I answer the door.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Abe Schwartz: Selling Mel Gibson's "Beaver" (huffingtonpost.com)
• Letterman's Top Ten Excuses for Mel Gibson's Phone Rants (shoppingblog.com)
• Mel GIbson and girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva split (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
• Mel Gibson Hates You Fags, Too (queerty.com)