broken english

In Slovenia... How you say in English..? We no bring cat inside, cat stay outside, not in, outside. Cat has... Territory... Roll on grass, play with mouse... But him, that man in room next to mine... O my Gotfarthin, he no listen to me. I caretaker, but he no listen. He, that man, he bring cat in room. I caretaker, not him, but he no listen to me... 

   That man, he come next door my room last Wednesday. I tell him... How you say in English..? Ten-an-cy Ag-ree-ment. Yes, no pets. He understand. Cat not allowed in room. This good. I caretaker, not him. Everybody happy, cat happy too... In Slovenia, cat like outside, in Australia, cat like outside too... But he think me silly, that man. I hear him, “Puss, Puss, Puss...”, through wall in room. I caretaker, not pussy... I show that man, I not pussyfoot around with him. No. No more...

Nice cat, nice white cat, all white is nice cat like snow on Slovenian mountain. Not really cat, kitten. Like baby, he... No, she, cat she, I check... She play in garden. But he, that man in room next to mine, still he no listen. He keep cat in room. I hear him through wall talk to pussy. Why man talk to pussy ? Why..? Why not talk to pussy in garden..? Make not sense. Man must... How you say in English..? Man mentally ill. Yes. That mentally ill man, he think me silly.  Me not silly, me caretaker and rule is no pets in room... But cat nice, nice friendly cat... Friday afternoon follow me to supermarket. I say, “Shhhh.... Go home cat. Go home, you get hit by car, become doormat”. I say on Friday afternoon, “Go home silly cat, go see man in room...” But cat, she no listen... I caretaker, but cat no listen...
  In Slovenia we no touch cat. But kitten not cat, kitten kitten. Kitten like baby. “Boo-Hoo... Waaaaaaa...” Little white kitten follow me supermarket Friday afternoon. In Slovenia we no touch cat. In Australia... I pick kitten up. Carry pink white kitten back to house. Put kitten in yard Friday afternoon or get hit by car become doormat. But she, not he, I check, cat is she... Little pink white baby kitten, she no listen to me. I caretaker, but she no listen. Follow me again supermarket friday afternoon. Silly kitten. I pick kitten up take home to house. This time, too smart for kitten. This time, lock kitten in room...My room. I get back from supermarket Friday afternoon kitten asleep on end of bed. “Purr, Purr, Purr...” Happy pink white kitten like little baby asleep in my room.

  But him, that man, I hear him through wall in room. “Puss, Puss, Puss...” He still not listen. No, he, I hear him, not just, “Puss, Puss, Puss...” No, he, I hear him through wall in room... “Meee-owww, Meee-owww...” Man in mentally ill room not logical... How you say in English..? Not logical is man in mentally ill room. Still talk to cat, no, not cat... Kitten. Little pink white man talk to cat in moon... Then, “Bump, Bump, Bump...” Not  day, night... Late night... Late, late, early morning night. I wake, pick pink white kitten up, hear man in room, “Puss, Puss, Puss... Meeee-owwww... Bump, Bump, Bump...” But how man talk to cat when white cat is not cat but little pink white kitten... Why pink white kitten is little baby in kitten man’s room..?

  Maybe... Maybe man in room next to mine not man... Maybe man is kitten. Maybe man replace, you see, my English improve... Must be kitten... Maybe man in room replace white cat go missing with new kitten. Man mentally ill is not man, mentally ill man is kitten. Early morning, 3.30 am, man in room go “Purr, Purr, Purr... Meeeee-owwwww... Bump, Bump, Bump...” Then, 3.30 am man in room who not man but kitten, he, that man, that mentally ill man, he cry at moon. True. Man mentally ill who think he kitten, he cry at moon. Like baby, like little baby. That man, that mentally ill man, he sound like baby. Like crying baby child crying at full moon. My little baby, my little pink white kitten cry 3.30 am at the mentally ill full moon. Me caretaker. My room. My full moon.